Ouch.

Powerlifted for the first time today. It's a completely different type of training than I've ever done, but I like that the focus is on challenging yourself and getting stronger (as opposed to looking a certain way.) I'm not very good. Especially not compared to the other guys in the class. But in this case, it doesn't matter, since it's all about challenging yourself and lifting heavier than you did the previous set.

They told us to think about someone we wanted to punch, and to keep that in mind when we did the lifts -- have that be our motivating factor. 

And I'll tell you: I am a fairly drama-free person (really,) but there are quite a few people I wouldn't mind punching out if I had superhuman strength. What a great way to vent aggression.

...They said I should experience the worst of the soreness when I wake up tomorrow, so walking up five flights of stairs to get to work tomorrow should be interesting. If I disappear in the meantime, know that I'm around... it just probably hurts for me to sit up and use the computer.

(Above: Brandon Lilly,  Professional Powerlifter.  Before/After.)

Motivation

This is great. My favorite part is the guy sitting in the back. Just look at his face. "Did he just...really?" #NoExcuses #LiftHeavy.

The Twilight Zone

This one was one of my favorite episodes of The Twilight Zone - I'm glad someone uploaded it. The premise is that on the night of her engagement, a woman is chased on horseback by a ghostly phantom. Part of the "twist" is that it isn't actually a phantom at all -- it's her future self, trying to give her a warning about her engagement. Awesomely twisted.

 Happy Sunday. 

Untitled

I still think this is true, actually. From The Twits, by Roald Dahl -- this was one of my favorite books to read as a kid. 

Friday Five #1

Since I'm re-starting this blog after a lengthy hiatus, it occurred to me that most of you probably don't know much about me. This is "good" in the sense that it makes sure that future employers can't see my personal information. But at the same time, it's probably hard for me to develop a personal relationship with you, the reader, if you don't know my story.

So starting today, I'm going to start a new feature -- The Friday Five. Five random facts that I feel like sharing (and that you probably don't care about.) Enjoy:

1.) Growing up, we never had alcohol in the house. My parents were from India, and it was considered "scandalous" to drink. If we had non-Indian guests at parties and/or family events, my mom would buy bottles of wine so they could serve themselves. But that was it.

2.) ... In hindsight, my parents' attitude towards alcohol actually led to some funny experiences for me as an undergrad. At 18, I had never seen anyone in my life pour a drink, so when I first made myself one at a frat party, it was a screwdriver that literally had half a cup of straight vodka in it -- with very little orange juice. It was neither "fun" nor "glamorous" -- I got very, very, sick and ended up throwing up most of the night. 

3.)  I'm "out" to my family, but it's not something we discuss or talk about. If I bring it up, it causes an argument. Little things - like bringing a partner home for dinner - would be extremely difficult. I know you have to push at the boundaries (or else they don't change,) but sometimes you just get tired of fighting.

4.) I was once set up on a blind date with someone whose father owns one of the major gay bars in West Hollywood. I lived in New York, so I think he was insulted that I didn't care. Later on in the night, he drank too much and said: "Do you know what it's like to go from a place where I can go behind the bar and pour my own drinks to a place like New York where I'm a nobody?" At which point I started laughing, because the whole situation was ridiculous. Suffice to say, there was no second date. 

5.) ... In part because of experiences like #4, I've learned that dating within the gay male community is a bit like working with a child who has a severe learning disability. In either case, the protocol is the same: you give a lot of tries and you make a lot of allowances.

A Gift

One of my friends (a rugby player,) gave me this workout in case any of you want to try it. It's deceptively intense. You have to pick a weight that's heavy enough that you can only lift it 8 times. When my friend does it, he does one exercise, goes all out, and then waits 60 seconds in between each set. But I don't have three hours to spend in the gym, so I usually just do two movements (i.e. one back movement and one bicep movement) and take 90 seconds between each group of movements. You could finish the workout in a little over an hour.

I just started it this week and I'm really, really sore -- which is good. I think I'll try it for a week or two (maybe not the whole ten weeks,) and then reevaluate. Let's do this. 

Adventures In Cooking #1

I wanted homemade Indian food, so I made palak paneer -- or whatever happens when you add spinach and spices to a cup of fat-free cottage cheese. Same concept, right? I think this tastes all right, but I'm fairly certain anyone else would call it a "hot mess." I'd post pictures, but I'd judge myself. 

Sandra Lee, this entry is for you. It's no "Kwanzaa Cake," but it's pretty damn close. Three cheers for bodybuilding on a shoestring budget! #Bulking #YOLO #CanIusehashtagsonblogger?

--

P.S. In case any of you are interested in making *actual* palak paneer, these girls at Show Me The Curry have you covered. I'm Indian myself, so I'll vouch for them -- they're awesome. 

Happy Thursday.

Charles Atlas, Where Are You?

When I tell people that I was overweight as a child/teen, and that it's difficult for me to build muscle because of my poor body image, what I really mean is --

My reality looks something like this:

So in response, I work out, eat well, and enjoy the pump. I am consistent for several weeks. In my head, I feel like this:

But I probably actually look like this:

Eventually, my clothes stop fitting and I start to worry that I'm getting "too big." I second-guess myself. So I diet before my body has a proper chance to grow. It's not a conscious decision, usually. I'm not much of an eater - and unlike most of the gainers I know, I actually enjoy feeling "light." Eating too much just makes me feel bloated and brings up unpleasant memories from high school.

So it starts out slowly - I miss a meal here and there. Miss gym sessions. Before I know it, I've lost a lot of the size I have gained. 

Consequently, the cycle continues. I oscillate back and forth, never quite achieving my goal. (Maybe this time will do the trick? I'm getting serious with the lifting again, so who knows? I'm certainly going to do my best to stay consistent.)

What is holding you back from achieving your goals?

House of Pie (Charts)

But to be fair, it *is* frustrating when the other person eats all your crackers.

I've tried to imagine what a gay male equivalent of this pie chart might look like. But all I can come up with is this:

...But then again, maybe I'm just projecting. (As you can see, having a partner who eats my food without asking is quite a turn-off for me.) Open question for the peanut gallery, a.k.a all two of you: what are your "deal breakers" when it comes to a committed relationship?

October 2013

I randomly stumbled back to this blog. I'd almost forgotten about it, to be honest. But then I logged into Blogger to check on something else, and I saw that I had all these page views. At that point, it only made sense to make an update.

If you've visited this blog before, you'll see that I've deleted a lot of the more personal posts. I've grown a lot since I started here four years ago (no pun intended,) and at this point I'm a bit more selective about what I share on the internet. There are also some posts I wrote as an undergrad that definitely "look" like something a 21 year old would write, and I'm a bit embarrassed by them now (which is why they're hidden.) At some point, I might edit those entries and post them in revised form. We'll see. If you've been here before, you'll know that I'm not very good at updating with any semblance of regularity. So I don't want to make any promises I can't keep.

One thing I *am* thinking about is making this into less of a blog that's exclusively focused on muscle growth/body transformation. I would obviously still post pictures and talk about things I like - but right now, I feel like this blog only represents one part of my personality. There are other things (like music and politics for example,) that I wouldn't mind posting about as well. It wouldn't be a diary though -- mostly random thoughts and discoveries that I've had. Does that sound interesting to anyone?

This is getting long, but in any case: hope you're all doing well, and if there are specific things you would be interested in seeing me blog about, feel free to comment (anonymously, if you wish,) and let me know. Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in Canada!

Picture: A poster I saw at New York City Gay Pride, circa 2013.